Saying Goodbye
We are coming to a time of parting. In just one month, I will retire. I am 75 years old now; it is time. I don’t regret my decision at all, but my feelings about retirement are all over the place. I yearn for a good long nap, and I am also eager to spend my afternoons in my flower bed. I am filled with hope for the future, and I am also grieving the losses that come with any retirement. I know that some of you feel the same way about this passage. So, I want to share with you some thoughts about what it means for us to say good-bye, and to do that well. Each of these carries responsibilities for both you and me.
First, we have one month left to honor this passage. If you feel like celebrating together this month, then let’s have a party. Invite me to lunch or to dinner and we will have a grand time. If you have thoughts or feelings that you want to share about our time together, please ask for an appointment so that we can sit down together. I will do my best to make time for whatever you need to do to mark this passage. Your part in this is to remember and share with me whatever is on your heart. We could do this singly or in small groups – whatever you need. My part is to devote my last month in this ministry to honoring this passage with you.
Second, whoever follows me will need space to be themselves – pastorally, theologically, as a leader, and as a whole person. I need to create that space for the next pastor, so I really must go away. Dave and I will find a new church to join. We will no longer be members here, and I will no longer attend services or activities of the church. If I would ever like to return – say, to shop at the Holly Fair – I will call the new pastor and ask how they feel about it. I won’t come unless I am invited, and I won’t have hard feelings if they say “no” or “not yet.” You have a part in creating space for the new pastor to flourish, too. Please welcome them with an open heart and an open mind. Follow where they lead. They will do things differently than I do, and that is a good thing. And please, never, ever … ever … say, “That’s not the way Cathy did it.”
Third, Dave and I are not leaving town, and this is a small community. I really will try to keep my distance, but we will continue to shop in the same shops, and I will likely volunteer some of my time locally. Inevitably, we will encounter one another, and I will be SO glad to see you! When that happens, I will ask about your knee surgery and your grandchildren, but I will not ever discuss church business with you. I need to be careful not to encroach on the next pastor’s leadership even through conversations out in the community. Your part in this is to ask me how my new granddaughter is growing up and to tell me about all the vegetables you are harvesting. (I will be happy to take extra tomatoes and cucumbers off your hands.)
Finally, these ethical restrictions apply to me, but not to Dave. He will move his church membership with me, and he shouldn’t be messing in church business after I retire, either. But if you have been his friend for years and you still want to go to lunch with him, I have been assured by Conference Minister Gordon Rankin that that’s just fine. In fact, we would welcome those sorts of invitations, because it isn’t fair for my retirement to require him to be socially isolated. So, give him a call.
A healthy ending is just as important to a ministry as a good beginning. I will do my best to make it so. And then I will pray for God’s richest blessings for each of you and for this church as we move into the future.
Pastor Cathy